One of the key concepts in martial arts is the idea of a "submission", a point where one person taps out conceding the match.
This concept has been around for a long time, it is documented right back to ancient wrestling and pankration in Greece. The means have varied in different times and places. Raising 2 fingers, saying uncle, tapping out, etc. But the idea has always been the same.
In a match one person places the other in a situation where they are forced to concede, recognizing that they are caught in a position where they would end up seriously injured if the match where a real fight.
Basically the "checkmate" of the martial arts.
Most people are familiar with the concept, it's been getting used in Pro-Wrestling for years as a carry over from when the matches where not scripted. UFC is now a household name as well.
But yet there is still some confusion around exactly what is going on.
A tap out is not one person giving up because something hurts. It is one person giving up because they are in a position where they could be hurt.
When a person taps out due to being caught in a arm bar it is not because there arm is in excruciating pain, it is because they recognize that they are in a position where their opponent could cause serious injury to their arm if the fight where real.
Generally waiting until your arm is hurting to tap out is a terrible idea and will lead to damaged joints pretty quickly.
Of course pro-wrestling plays things up... but they are acting, not really trying to cause pain or injury. And in professional MMA fighters will at times try to hold off on tapping out longer and sometimes to the point where they are doing damage to their joint, but they are professionals with a lot of money and their career on the line.
For the rest of us, that should never be the case. We tap out because we recognize we lost, not because we are in pain or already hurt.
Why is the receiver the one that is responsible to surrender? Martial Arts is a funny thing, it is an activity that both builds confidence and teaches humility when done right. In the process of getting good, you have to surrender 1000's of matches to people bigger, smaller, older, younger, stronger, weaker and every thing else. Everyone gets caught sometimes, and everyone has to be willing to admit that they where physically defeated by anyone else on the mat if they get caught.
This is something I see as a huge benefit to building character over styles where all the scoring is done by a ref or judges. Scoring points for hits which is fuzzy in the best situations too easily leaves the humility part lacking and the confidence turns to cockiness. When you tap out it's not a bad ref call, you lost, and you admit it.